ties!

The dudes are going to need ties, and when they do: bam. Green ties abound.

more purchases

I spent $25 on 480 feet of white Christmas lights. Actually I used a Wal-Mart gift card I received for Christmas. So... I think it's safe to say that the probably 20 x 60 foot tent that we're probably going to rent is probably going to be sufficiently lit.

I also bought ribbon, and safety pins for decorating purposes and attaching the pins to the back of the bouttonieres because they're made of wood and corsage pins are a bitch anyway.

hair

Speaking of my hair, this is how I want it to look. Long, with big, loose curls; one side clipped back with the aforementioned flower.

That's right, it's Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember. I've known for awhile that's how I want my hair to look, and then I saw this movie on TBS today and was like "YES! That is my wedding hair."

purchases

I bought my wedding ring today. I realize I didn't need to do so this early, but I didn't want it to go out of stock again. Besides, it was 30% off AND expedited shipping was free. Win.

I made some other wedding purchases last night, too. I bought this flower clip for my hair:

...and something secret for my maids of honor and personal attendant. All the money I got for Christmas went in the wedding fund and is already getting put to good use. Go me!

printing

Another option for printing.

And another.

Excellent.

vacation

Okay, so it's not likely that we'll be able to afford a honeymoon ourselves, but I'm looking at places just in case. Because even if we don't get a honeymoon right away, we'll go on vacations in the future.

Perhaps to this lovely resort in Riviere Nayarit, Mexico. Although August is part of the rainy season. Hmph.

Maybe we could rent an apartment in Puerto Rico.

Maybe Amsterdam.

Or London.

Hmm.

groomy

Tie & vest set for Darren? Convenient. Zazzy. Inexpensive. Maybe he'll want black. Either way- nice.

postage nonsense, guest book, etc.

I think instead of paying the extra money to design our own stamps, we'll just use these standard wedding ones or something from the USPS. I'm having a hard time finding postcard stamps (28 cents) for our Save the Dates. The only ones I can find have polar bears on them... so maybe I just won't have wedding-themed stamps on the Save the Dates. Nothin' wrong with polar bears!

Another idea I had recently was, instead of a guest book, to make something like this - a card box where people can write messages on their own card. I could just order green card stock and decorate it. Then, when we got our pictures back after the wedding, I could make a scrapbook using our pictures and the messages from everyone.

Yes, I know. Brilliant.

Wedinator

My Google Reader recommended this website to me. It's it full of LOLz.

Dressy goodness

The more I look at this dress the more I think it might be the one. I'm not going to buy it until like may and before that I plan on finding one similar in style (which should be easy) and trying it on just to make sure. Halters can be hit or miss with me, but since I've been working out they're working better than they used to. I have broad shoulders, you see. I'm going to be wearing my hair down though, which helps.

Anyway, to smooth out any lumps or chub I may still have come next summer (hopefully it's gone, but you never know), I'mma buy a bustier like this one or this one. That plus some sort of slip or petticoat to keep the dress from clinging to my hips and it'll be good to go.

Party

Houston, we have a wedding party. Members can be seen here in all their awesome glory.

I am psyched.

Ack!

Let's hope the wedding ring I want is back in stock by the time I need to order it :(

Edit: I emailed the company and they told me it'd be in stock after Christmas. Pip! And since the cash I'm getting for Christmas is going in the wedding fund anyway, I'll probably just buy the ring right away. It'll be okay hanging out in my jewelry box for eight months.

Edit 2: It's already back! I can't afford to buy it right this second what with Christmas shopping and all but I'm going to keep a close eye on it and if they start running low I'll make it happen. Blarslharjkahdvgshhrgh

I created a whole big kerfuffle when I posted something on Twitter about Christmas lights.
1: I should have made it clear that i was referring to my wedding, not Christmas decorating
2: Several people did not read the post very well (I was talking about the cost of renting them versus the free-ness of borrowing them and everyone started talking about buying them)

I remembered later (at the gym, of course) that my mom told me just the other day that I still have a gift card sitting at my parents' house from last Christmas. It's a (presumably) $25 Wal-Mart card from my cousin. I assume, since she drew my name again this year, that I'll be getting the same thing. So I'll have $50 worth of gift card goodness so I can in fact purchase cheap-ass lights the day after Christmas (as well as ribbon and a glue gun!) without spending any of my own actual money. I was opposed to purchasing them until I realized that.

The one lighting-thing I will rent is a 40 foot string of larger lights (10, to be exact) to run down the middle of the tent. I'll also rent draping (hopefully. I still have to get a price quote on that) and fancily drape the fabric with the lights and some flower garlands I'm going to make. It'll be lovely, I promise.

It's decided: when it comes time for my ladies of honor to acquire their dresses, I'm going to the "Little black dress" section at target.com and picking my favorite. Because really, a cute black dress is a cute black dress. Why ask someone to spend an exorbitant amount of money on it?

I met with my graphic designer last night. Which is really a fancy way of saying Eric came over and we discussed Save-the-Date designs a little bit while watching A Christmas Story and talking smack about the crazy people we know.

Oh, and I almost forgot - Darren has an uncle who is apparently an amazing photographer and has shot weddings before. I'd prefer to see some samples first, but hey- we might get our photography done for freeeeez! If Darren agrees. I think he probably will. There are some things he has strong opinions about, like food, but other things like Save-the-Dates where he really doesn't care all that much.

Also, I guess a lot of Darren's family goes to the same church up near the farm and he mom said we might be able to borrow tables and chairs from the church. Or rent them. If we can borrow them or if the rental cost is cheaper than the rental place we'll probably end up using for some stuff, I'm all in. And if the chairs are ugly I'll find a place to rent reasonable-priced chair covers.

If we end up being able to borrow tables & chairs at not cost, renting chair covers (if necessary) will still save us money.

Blah blah blah, this is me putting all the stuff in my head down on paper the screen to make room for all the other crap I have to think about.

moo?

So many posts today.

I'm thinking that instead of wedding favors for the guests, we make a donation in their honor to Heifer International. It's such a cool charity and I'd say it's pretty appropriate for a wedding on a farm. Plus, considering animals are going to be killed in our honor, it's only fair to donate animals for non-eating purposes. Then we could print business cards to put at each place setting indicating that the donation had been made.

In other news, our second usher agreed to the position. Pip!

I'm thinking way in advance here, but I was looking for possible wedding party gifts and ways to package them. I created (or am creating. Clearly it's a work in progress) a list of ideas for gifts for each party member, and I think when it comes time to purchase and "wrap" each gift I'm going to create gift baskets for each of them.

The key then will be finding baskets that are smaller and inexpensive. And I totally found some.

I can't decide what to get for the guys. Maybe mini bottles of liquor (which I can also find at a liquor store) and shot glasses. I don't know.

Whatever, I am so awesome.

And I emailed my mom asking her to get some family addresses for me. Darren's mom is working on doing the same. I need to email various friends for theirs as well... and find out what Eric needs from me so we can get the Save the Dates designed and printed before mid-January.

We have most of our wedding party, save for one usher and a personal attendant or two. Yay!

food!

So the wedding will be in August, either the 7th or 14th. I'd prefer the 14th but it depends on how early Darren's sisters have to be back in South Carolina for school.

AND! Since we're getting married on the farm, they're going to buy whatever livestock we want in February, raise it, and then we'll eat it for the wedding feast. My friend Eric says the food will taste even better knowing it was killed on our honor. I hope he's right. :P

My future mother-in-law is starting to get into the whole wedding thing. I haven't actually talked to her myself yet, but Darren has. I guess she has questions for me. I guess we should really get going on this thing.

One decision = made!

It's official- the flower scheme I outlined a couple posts ago is what we're going with. Yay! One less thing to deal with (until I actually have to buy them).

dresses

Bridesmaid dress? Marsha, if you see this, let me know what you think. PS, will you be in my wedding? :)

I like this dress (in ivory) for me. I'm kind of considering something shorter and/or slightly less formal, but... it's just so pretty. I do like this one if I deceide on going less poofy. And by the time I need to actually purchase a dress, I'll probably actualy look good in it. Or this one if I decide I'm okay with a short dress.

rings

Lookin' at rings. Darren's favorite color is metallic blue, and I found a ring he likes with some blue in it. So! Savin' the link.

I found several rings on, no lie, Amazon that I like. So I saved them in my shopping list. I also saved some shoes... mmm, shoes.

I'm sick of looking at flowers

Flowers, again.

My bouquet.

Groomsmen.

Darren. I think I'd also add some leftovers from the groomsmen to make it extra awesome.

Dads

Moms

Centerpieces

Bridesmaids

Ushers & Personal attendants.

Petals for scattering on food tables, etc.

If we have some sort of altar area/table, we can put bouquets on either side. Like these ones, in some vases.

I can also buy these paper flower heads to make decorative garlands!

Blurgh. Flowers are hard.

If we decide to go with real flowers, Stephanie recommended flowerbud.com (and then googling for a coupon code). If we did that, I think I'd get a box of greenery and the harvest garden box. Although I do also like this bouquet and the daisies, of course.

lights and such

So if we get married on the farm, our reception would be in a tent, and we'd have to consider lighting it.

BAM. We could put these lights inside these lanterns (and these ones). Those plus white Christmas lights draped over the ceiling would probably do the trick- the less we have to worry about extension cords, the better. These lanterns even have build in LED lights.

Unrelated: I like these for centerpieces. But I also think I'd want something brighter... like perhaps these, or this guy.

We could put small bouquets in mason jars- they're super cheap at this site. I think they'd be cute and definitely fit if we had a farm wedding. :) Tie some ribbon around the top... heck yeah.

We need to start making decisions. Darren will start a discussion, like "I think we should get married in September," but the conversation dies before we actually, you know, decide anything. I feel bad trying to force him into actually planning stuff, but it's going to have to be done at some point. Blurgh.

We're revisiting the idea of having the wedding at Darren's grandma's farm in Bertha. We'd have to rent every single thing, but if we rent from this company we'd be able to get a tent, sound system, tables, chairs, table cloths, and a dance floor for less than we'd have to spend on food & beverages at Sweeney's (where we're currently considering having it). We'd supply our own food and beverages and save at least $600...

There's also a company in St. Paul where we could rent smaller stuff like draping and lighting which we could just pick up and bring back. They even have plates and such if we wanted to be super classy (as opposed to fun colored but kinda ghetto paper plates and plastic cups).

Awesome.

color

I'm currently looking at this Pantone chart to choose the perfect shades of green to use on our printed materials. I like the brighter ones in the 360 range.

...nerdy.

Cohabitating before marriage

As you well know, Darren and I live together, and we have for about a year and a half. We signed the lease on our apartment seven months after we started dating.

A study was done recently (the link is not to the study itself, but an article about it- the study itself is not accessible without membership to the journal in which it was published) that seems to indicate that couples who live together before they marry are more likely to divorce somewhere down the line. I don't doubt the validity of the study; actually, most of the points made make complete sense to me.

A quote from the article:
"We think there might be a subset of people who live together before they got engaged who might have decided to get married really based on other things in their relationship," Rhoades told LiveScience, "because they were already living together and less because they really wanted and had decided they wanted a future together."

Of course that makes sense. Couples move in together for all sorts of reasons. It's incredibly convenient and you definitely get to know each other better. But I don't think those are the only reasons a couple should move in together. As the study shows, people who do so might get married simply because it seems like a logical step to take.

Darren and I did know (or at least had a hunch), even at seven months, that we wanted to be married eventually. Darren evidently knew the night we met (unless he just says that to be sweet). We had become best friends, we were in love, and - to be blunt - neither of us had had better sex with anyone else, ever. Just sayin'. And it just so happened we both needed a place to live.

The article does mention having a joint lease, by the way. "a joint lease or shared ownership of pets could nudge the nuptials for these folks, more than a life-long commitment to one another." Our lease ended almost seven months ago, before we were engaged, and we switched to a month-to-month agreement with our landlord. Any couple who gets engaged because of their lease is, um, crazy. Leases end eventually, people! I know someone who moved in with his girlfriend and eventually they broke up, even though their lease was a few montha away from expiring. They dealt with it. And if you own a house together, sell it or treat it like a divorce! One of you gets the house, the other hits the road. Same with pets. Share custody of your dog- I've heard of that being done successfully.

Aaanyway. The study also looked into couples' reasons for moving in together. The article doesn't go into too much detail:

More than 60 percent of participants ranked spending more time together as the number-one reason for moving in, followed by nearly 19 percent who put "it made most sense financially" at the top of their list, and 14 percent ranking "I wanted to test out our relationship before marriage" highest.

Those who listed "testing" as the primary move-in reason were more likely than others to score high on measures of negative communication, such as, "My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires." Such testers also had lower confidence in the quality and stability of their relationships.

I really think those results have less to do with the reason the couple moved in together and more to do with the individuals themselves- I think when marriages aren't working it has absolutely nothing to do with the couple having lived together before they married and everything to do with the individuals. A commenter on the article summed it up perfectly. There are plenty of people that get married for the wrong reasons - whether they lived together or not.

This study can suck it.

I found this randomly in an article on CNN.

Marriage is another word for "trust." Maybe "trust, plus." It is two people full of doubts, shortcomings, and love holding hands and jumping together. It's a risk, fraught with the potential to fail, and that makes it beautiful. Three-legged races, where two people hop, stumble, get back up, and maybe hit a stride until they fall again. It's funny, frustrating, and the wedding ring is a symbol for the rope tying two legs together.

Maybe something to include in the ceremony?

I need to find an officiant* who doesn't cost a ton of money who will let us write our own ceremony, because it would be super awesome. Maybe I can get Darren on the "one of our friends can get ordained and officiate" train. I worked on it a little last night. Maybe, maybe.

*we don't belong to a church, and don't want a religious ceremony anyway. Having a judge do it apparently costs money and there's like no room for originality. There are a lot of officiants out there but they all charge around $500 at least for a customized ceremony. That's BS, I say. If a friend gets ordained online for free they can get paperwork and file it with the state and it's totally legal, and I'm guessing the cost is a lot more reasonable.

Apparel

I found a dress I want but I'm not going to post it. :)

I will, however, post this dress I like as a bridesmaid dress - ooh, also this one - either in black or sage.

And! And! This suit for Darren. Yum.

Yay.

Elpoing

Let's say, hypothetically, Darren and I didn't want to deal with planning and paying for this wedding. Let's say we decided to instead pay for a much more affordable wedding package in Vegas.

I like this one. It's classy. Actually, the same site offers lots of great packages at affordable prices.

But I also want to note this slightly less classy but SUPER AWESOME Cirque du Soleil themed package. Mostly because an aerial team performs during the ceremony. How amazingly memorable is THAT?! Awesome.

Still, I think I'd go for the classier option.

Plus, wedding package + hotel room = wedding and honeymoon all in one. Convenient. And we wouldn't really be eloping. Anyone who wanted to spring for a couple days in Vegas could totally join us. Super fun!

A helpful link

For future reference.

Blurgh.

Favors

My current plan for wedding favors is to have some kind of treat in a little bag. Like mayhaps these almonds. Of course, some people are allergic to nuts. But other people don't like chocolate, and, well, no matter what I choose, I probably won't be able to please everyone. It's just a wedding favor, for crying out loud. I could put them in these little bags. Easy peasy.

I also thought about making the little bags myself and filling them with, like, the different flavored tootsie rolls. You know, something delicious.

Registering

Sooo, I made registries. One is a cash gift fund, and one is at good ol' Target. Links for all of them can be found on the Registry page of the wedding website.

They'll be edited over time, I imagine. I mean, after all, Darren hasn't added his input yet! :)

Reception stuff

Bubbles! Bubbles for our exit or entrance and an awesome wedding favor!

We could also get cameras, maybe one on every other table, and people can take pictures during the reception and leave the cameras on the table at the end of the night, then we can get the photos developed and it will be awesome.

Need to put this somewhere immediately

...so I'm putting it right here so it won't get lost in the shuffle (hopefully). I want this to be read during our ceremony. It's my wedding, I can include a veiled political statement if I want.

"Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.

It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a 'civil right.' Without the right to choose to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience."

- from the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in that state

Notes to self

Note 1:
Go here for postcard printing for Save the Dates.

Note 2:
Pick a date.

Note 3:
WHen it comes time to find a wedding band, this one is an excellent example.

The ring has arrived

And I finally got some decent pictures of it. Yay!

My ring shipped today! Woooooot. It's coming from Florida so I don't know how long it's going to take to get here, but WOOT.

And the book

Wedding organizer = purchased.

I got this one from Barnes & Noble.

BAM.

Hello, wedding blog.

I decided to start an all new wedding blog so people can read it if they want, but I won't have to fill up my regular blog with wedding nonsense.

Right-o. So. Where are we at right now?

The ring was paid for today; it should be arriving next week. Hopefully. I'm not sure what the turnaround time is. It's being made by an artist I found on Etsy. Her studio can be viewed here.

I'm maybe getting a tiny bit ahead of myself with the blog and wedding website I set up at mywedding.com, because people don't even know about the engagement yet. Well, a couple people do. I told one person because I can't even keep my own secrets, and Darren told some people at work yesterday (the 29th) that he's going to propose today (it's our 2 year anniversary). He actually proposed on Monday (the 28th), but whatevs.

I'm going to hop over to Barnes & Noble today to check out their wedding planning books. I feel like I'm going to need something physical to keep track of things, as opposed to just spreadsheets and stuff on a computer.

I am already utilizing The Knot a bit though (in addition to MyWedding). They're just so handy!

We need to pick a date as soon as we can. All I know right now is that it can't be in the last week of August 2010, because that's when Steve and Scancy's wedding is, and I need to find out when Heather's wedding is so we don't schedule too close to theirs.

Ideally it would be sometime when Stephanie and Andy are visiting from Turkey, which is in I think September (2010). But I don't know how long they'll be here or what their schedule is going to be like. Boo hoo.

Whatever. This is a step-by-step process and we haven't even completed step 1: tell people.

So maybe I'll just concentrate on that first.